5 days later
here again i sit
half hour more to boarding
sleepy heads

missing sylvia and wishing her
a most beautiful bday tmrw!
:)
cant wait to gym out with her again
and have some good fun!

in desperate need to burn off that
bulge sitting above my jeans
thanks to geek husband who thinks
travelling is about going on a food tour

speak of the devil!
he appears next to me and laughs at me
for blogging... out of boredom at this stage

purchased a pack of PHILLIES cigars
says it has chocolate blended flavor
(i love cigars... a secret i doubt my geek one knows
just yet hahha)
tis is an american brand... havent quite figured
why im buying this imported product in
conservative muslim brunei airport
got a strange feeling i overpaid for it
but nevertheless ... cant wait to LIGHT UP!!

well more eating in the following 2 weeks to come
contemplating how many crunches i need to do
per day to balance out that flab...
at least my geek one has finally got the laptop
we've been shopping for days for...
is it REALLY that hard in making a decision?

i consider myself pretty decisive then...
once i konw the product is right i go in and bargain
HARD
but no... geek husband will ask another 30 stores
about the SAME product and its features
while i desperately translate computer geek terms
from cantonese to english... (hello! very limited either way!)

im coming home!!!

The city keeps on going... on

in brunei airport i sit
ipod in my ear
wild horses beddingfield crooning
husband to the left
coffee bean to the right

blogging in my wait in transit
planning my shopping spree
helmut lang armani westwood lures
oo hong kong... hong kong
net-a-porter on my new tab

whilst i contemplate making a new trip
to the ladies... churning of my insides
gently reminding me of the chillies in
bangkok and singapore...

joe purdy is where i end my blog
he sings of the city...
his drums a beckoning of walking away
how cities come go ... and we keep going on

You've travelled around the world now..
where would you like to live in? which is your
fav country, city?

Jay's beautiful answer rings in my ear,
"It's not about the city,
it could be amazing, beautiful... magnificent even...
but it's the people... the people that make the difference
people you love, you know, friends who will create and
share the memories with you... that...

that's what makes the fav city..."

miss u so much already my friend....

i love free internet!

8minutes remaining on this free internet access
feeling my ready to burst from excitement!
going on holiday!
flight in about half hour

so glad to be home yesterday
travelling with my geek one
the sweet sweet smell of home is dearly treasured
ate endlessly upon our arrival

double-booked 2people, well 2 couples 2 b exact
who both came to the airport at 630am in the morning
to receive us... o gosh.. me and my poor planning
or my husband's spontaneity rubbing off on me

so we had 2 cars (almost a motorcade) escorting us to
our destination... hheheh
now on our way to meet a dearly missed bridesmaid
at her home country!
she wants krispy kreme but seriously
they will b far from krispy by the time it lands in
her hands hehhe

so excited!! shop till we drop!!

maybe its too late

seeing happy couples has become quite ordinary
but sometimes 'the unordinary' is a gentle reminder
to appreciate my ordinary day

this was 2 weeks or so ago...
he came in just minutes after we opened
dark hair with hints of grey
late 40s even 50s? my guess?
a little edgy, avoiding eye contact
i observed an expensive shirt sitting beneath
his thick knitted jumper
he was eloquent and had sharp eyes
and an eccentric vibe that strikes me

20grand he wishes to spend
to replace 2 precious rings once on his wife's hand
they were robbed he said shaking his head

didnt want to hear about the 4Cs of diamonds
done it before knows all about
literally brushes me off
i obliged
guy knows EXACTLY what he wants to replace
the large stones in its exact design
easy for me... barely any negotiation in price
the sale was completed under an hour
thought i'll get to know him,
an economist he was when i sought to get to
understand his eccentricity

he left but returned next day when i was away
and spoke to another member of my staff
concerned about the size of the smaller diamonds
to the wedder, the discussion led to the mention
of his wife... and how he felt he had'nt been a good husband
all those years... yes... people confide to strangers more
sometimes... how strange are we... :)

got a letter this morning
addressed to me in my full name and details
busy with my own paper work, and certainly
not expecting any personal mails, i wasnt concerned
my director opened it to read out to me its contents

in it was a letter from him saying his wife has passed
on due to complications in surgery, and his regret
that she will not get to wear the rings we are to make
he was fine to forfeit the deposit if necessary... etc

what hit me was the copy of death certificate he enclosed
and most of all the sadness that overwhelmed me thereafter

multiorgan failure, aortic stenosis and a whole short paragraph
of medical complications...
never quite held a death certificate before of someone i never met

my heart goes out to him...

marriage and life
short and transient
we get busy we forget
we look back
we'll regret

i am reminded of my 'ordinary' today
and i want to share it...
for life is only so long or short as you make it to be
sometimes beyond your control
sometimes too late...

I think he remembers us...

7pm
the city abuzz with life
rushing about at the end of the day
students and commuters on their way
or maybe the movies
where to for dinner?

“It’s open! It’s open!”
I took a peek into the little Chinese take away.
China Express or Chi-but as our friends fondly named
7 years its been there now, maybe longer…

“ You wanna eat there? You sure?”

I nodded excitedly.
O the thought of crunching into the honey chicken
and perspiring from the chilli burning the tips of my tongue
lures me as I drag my geek one into the shop.

The familiar face of the uncle pops from behind the
hot bar… he smiles…a friendly one in my opinion.
A short man, he still had his usual jet black hair and little moustache
a polo shirt over his small frame,
cooking up a storm over his huge frying wok.
Come to think of it, he looks a bit like an asian version of ‘Luigi’
from the Mario brothers…. Heheheh but with a wok not a vacuum cleaner:)

I know a similar thought is running through both our minds
At that point, ‘…. Does he recognize us?’
Haven’t been in there for… cant remember the last time we ate there…
Working in the city actually repels us from dining in the city it seems.

Memories of this little take away come flooding
With our first friends we knew in Melbourne we would come
Between classes for lunch
Fried rice small with 2 side dishes…
It was the cheapest and mind you, tasty too!
$4.80 from memory a plate it’ll cost.
My geek one used to go there almost everyday
With his back pack and sloppy sandals
That was before we started going out.
He would even go in alone… he liked his independence
(aka lonliness? Hahaha)

It was funny to learn from him that he was surprised
that one day, the uncle smiled at him when he started to bring a girl
in with him for lunch… (the girl was me… I guess )
almost like a ‘ha!-Not-eating-alone-any-more-geeky-boy?’ smile…
and so I soon learnt it was one of his fav places for lunch of course.
I’d order the small and he the large. I’ll eat half and
He can have my other half.. : )
So in all he was able to down large and a half…

7 years and counting… and to think we ate there after
So long yesterday… this time husband and wife…

We bid him goodbye when we left and
My! Was I surprised! what a big smile he gave us! :)

fragile

breakable
memories
sand between your feet

water slipping through fingers
memories
scents, sounds, triggers

time
memories
secrets into the wind, unwind

i saw love today

a year ago it was i remember.
he came in half an hour before we were to close.
big tall bloke, with his strong aussie accent
dark hair with a earring on his lobe.

"getting married? ..." i asked.
He smiled almost sheepishly and gave me some details...
a beautiful stone, thats for my girl...








back and forth we went
getting the perfect stone, the perfect ring for him...
"... nervous as hell... " he said
the day he came to pick up the beautiful piece....

he tells me his plans, driving up to lakes entrance
and by the lake, he will pop the question.
he will spring the surprise that will bring on a flood of tears.
he shares with me a picture in his wallet
him and his beloved...

it was wonderful to see a big tall guy melt in love
and gush about it... interesting indeed...
makes me smile!

we see heaps of people everyday. but not everyone speaks so passionately.

we had problems with that first ring. didnt get it right the first time
cos we rushed it so he could still work around his plans...
so we remade a new one again and he was really pleased.
always patient always kind. and unbelievably understanding.

then months later the wedding bands, the wedding plans...
i got to finally meet his beloved and she was just perfect for him!
she was gorgeous,
even better than the photos he shared!

we made his wedding ring and it was not good enough
we made it again.
we made her wedding ring.
guess what?
not good enough.... (by this time he has become quite a familiar face
and name from floor staff to production - we rarely get things this wrong)
this even gave birth to the theory that some rings are 'cursed' its like if something
goes wrong once... it seems to trigger a whole line of stupid mistakes / miscommunication etc
that becomes associated with that ring/ rings...

bizarre but more than anything that confuses me is that 'bad' or 'unfortunate' things seem to happen to the nicest people... who will say... (with a smile!)
"... I understand.. things go wrong... we can wait... " really always amazes me...

today, it has come to a close.. the wedding's this saturday.
the rings all fit perfectly... polished to perfection...
his house is finished... he exclaimed proudly...
"...bought the land and built it from scratch...!"
a hundred expected at his family home from 8 in the morning
... don't drink too much... i beckoned...
he promises he wont for he needs a level head for the rest of the day!

shared with me interesting stories... how he values his macedonian traditions in weddings...
things in our modern day we dont do much anymore...
i sadly agreed and it was soon time for him to leave...

He bid me goodbye and we shook hands...
He leaned over and gave me a cheek to cheek, the aussie way
Thanked me and all of us at work for everything our team had done...
and i was pleasantly surprised and touched...

Surprised because I don't do the kiss alot,
even more rare with customers
(increases my kiss count now to 4 !
the first 3 were by 1 xold lady and 3 x ecstatic brides-to-be
overwhelmed by a diamond ring on their hand)

but more than anything, i was touched...
touched to feel his sincerity and good heart...
and to know I "saw" love...

Wishing him all the best for his new beginning,
I know he will soon embark a journey,
a journey that I trust he will walk bravely with love...

passion

passion.
the all consuming emotion that sweeps us -
off our feet, off our 'level-headedness', off our minds...

we forget the important
the necessity, the kinship, sometimes even the original 'passion'
that burned, deeply within...

all of a sudden... what someone else has, seems so bright, so desirable.

i see it everyday... ask me how many people come into the store
and want those big pear shaped diamond earrings oprah wore on her show...

"... I want what she has. i want what he has.
and to get that i ... dont care (or choose to forget) what I already got..."

Jan seemed to like our wedding photos,
(and flowers and beautiful bridal party, and our hair... and and and...)
that it's starting to seem that a strong motivation behind her vow renewal
may be me? *gasp!* alas! when did i become a target of 'wants'?
(i thought im the one with the 'wants' myself... ? really? hahah)

had a client who was presented a gift from her in-laws to be
2.00ct stone of reasonable quality, loose so she could choose the design
and have a ring created in her choice...

she hates it.

wants bigger. wants better. everyday everyday. everyone wants bigger. wants better.
when is enough? bigger than whose? bigger than what? 5 years later will you really care?
where is the love 5 yrs later, when love seems to play only such a small role now...

i'd be lucky to catch a glimpse of love everyday.
sometimes i get lucky. sometimes i dont...